Monday, October 21, 2013

Joe's 2013/2014 NFL Picks

My 2013-14 NFL Picks, originally published on September 2, 2013

AFC EAST

Patriots: 11-5
Dolphins: 5-11
Jets: 5-11
Bills: 4-12

Tom Brady doesn't have anyone to throw to? Tell that to Danny Amendola. They should be able to carve through this division like a chainsaw through butter. That's good, because this division plays the AFC North and NFC South this year, likely the 3rd- and 2nd-strongest divisions in the NFL overall. The Dolphins could very well snag a few and sneak up to 8-8 or 9-7, but I just don't think a Tannehill-led team is going anywhere. The Jets are probably going to be a train wreck - I don't know how they're going to score - but you never know with them. And, like Megatron on the Lions, CJ Spiller will put up enormous numbers on a very bad team. Don't expect RGIII-stuff from EJ Manuel.

AFC NORTH

Ravens: 12-4
Bengals: 11-5
Browns: 9-7
Steelers: 8-8

Every one of my predictions here could go horribly wrong. I mean, that's true of any prediction, but especially so here. The Ravens lost a lot, but I still think another year of Flacco-Rice-Harbaugh is enough to get them a first-round bye. It all depends on whether Torrey Smith can beat defenses while being the guy. I am an unabashed Andy Dalton fan (a convert, call me), and this team's offense is loaded. Maybe the third-best in the AFC, with two legit WRs, TEs, and RBs. I think this is the year the Browns finally sneak into the playoffs. Could you imagine a week 17 matchup with the Steelers with a playoff spot on the line? They have the tools. The Steelers don't have the tools, but they have the coaching, the history, and - hopefully sooner rather than later - my favorite Steeler, Heath Miller.

AFC South

Colts: 11-5
Texans: 8-8
Titans: 5-11
Jaguars: 5-11

This is a weak division. I believe the Colts will make the playoffs again, as Luck continues to grow (recall, I was an enormous fan of his before last season). I was also an enormous fan of the Texans before last season, but I'm officially off the bandwagon. Between Foster, Schaub, and Johnson, I don't trust them one bit to stay healthy. I think they're 7-4 when the wheels fall off with consecutive losses to the Patriots, Jags, Colts, and Broncos. Speaking of jumping off of bandwagons, I jumped off the Jake Locker/Titans bandwagon when it exploded in a burst of awfulness. Maybe the least exciting team in the league. The Jags still have very little talent, but I think MJD puts up big numbers and gets them to 5 wins, which isn't respectable but is better than last year's embarrassing 2.

AFC West

Broncos: 13-3
Chiefs: 8-8
Raiders: 4-12
Chargers: 4-12

What a bold prediction, the Broncos winning the AFC West. In fact, I have 5 of the same 6 playoff teams returning. That won't happen. But it does seem like the AFC is far more stratified into talent levels than the NFC. And the Broncos - now with Wes Welker - are at the top of that heap. The Chiefs actually have a good system in place, and Andy Reid is - is - the right coach for the job. Nothing fancy, but they'll have something to build on. The Raiders continue to be terrible. And call the Chargers my surprise bust. I think they basically have a bunch of pieces that are ready to fall apart. They're like the Texans, except 2 years older.

NFC East

Cowboys: 9-7
Redskins: 9-7
Giants: 7-9
Eagles: 6-10

Who knows how this one's going to go? Every division game is a coinflip. Tony Romo's going to be polarizing, like always. But this defense is good, and I think the offense clicks. The Redskins, who should change their name, will be the same as you saw last year. We're all a little anxious to see if RGIII is the same. If he is, and the defense has improved even a little bit, 9 could be a worst-case scenario for them. The Giants continue to be middling in most regards. Eli is just hoping they sneak into the playoffs, because he's not been very good in the regular season as of late. And the Eagles will be one of three things: 1) the most exciting playoff team in the NFL, 2) the most exciting mediocre team in the NFL, or 3) the most exciting trainwreck in the NFL. We'll see.

NFC North

Packers: 12-4
Vikings: 9-7
Bears: 7-9
Lions: 5-11

I know, I know. What a bold statement. But each of these teams, to me, seems clearly better than the teams below it. The Packers have the player just rated by ESPN as the NFL's best, and if their defense can be half-competent - or even less, depending on whether the running game gets going - double digit wins should be no sweat. The Vikings surprised last year, and I think they'll be a winning team for similar reasons this year. Harvin's gone, it's true, but Ponder is underrated. I think this is Cutler's last year. Forte will do everything he can to keep them in it, but this team's going in the wrong direction. And the Lions could be an 8-8/borderline 9-7 team. But I don't see it. Megatron will be fun, though.

NFC South

Falcons: 12-4
Saints: 10-6
Buccaneers: 8-8
Panthers: 5-11

Ok, I was stubborn when I picked the Falcons to be 8-8 last year. But I can't be stubborn any longer - is this their Super Bowl year? Depends on whether Steven Jackson has anything left. I'm pretty sure Jones and White still do. The Saints have the tools, once again. Last year was a pretty unprecedented interruption in team operations, so I'm basically ignoring it. Their defense will be less bad, and their offense will be too. Josh Freeman's about to start his 5th year for the Bucs, and I'm still not sure he has an identity. Coach Schiano's trying to give the team one, but he might get booted out of the league for his efforts. And the Panthers fall victim to the Red Queen: they haven't been moving forward, so they're falling behind.

NFC West

49ers: 12-4
Seahawks: 11-5
Rams: 6-10
Cardinals: 5-11

The 49ers remain the class of the NFC, despite some question marks at the offensive skill positions. Kaepernick's got enough skills to go around. The Seahawks probably have the best defense in the NFL, but I'm scared that Russell Wilson may take a step back. Lynch should be there to pick him up. The Rams are my second-favorite team in the NFL, so I always give them about 3 or 4 more wins than their talent says they should get. That hasn't changed this year, unfortunately for Jeff Fisher and co. And I got the Cardinals right with 5-11 last year, so don't fix what's not broken. Or, don't fix what is broken, if you're the Cards' front office.

WILDCARD ROUND

Patriots over Browns
Bengals over Colts
Falcons over Saints
Seahawks over Cowboys

DIVISIONAL ROUND

Patriots over Ravens
Broncos over Bengals
49ers over Seahawks
Packers over Falcons

CONFERENCE CHAMPIONSHIPS

Broncos over Patriots
Packers over 49ers

SUPERBOWL XLVIII (Rematch of SB XXXII)

PACKERS over Broncos

So, we'll see how terrible these picks look by week 6 when the Texans are 6-0, the Browns are 0-6, and Rodgers has gone down for the year. We'll see.

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